Taking you on a tour...

I thought today it would be fun to take you on a picture tour of my day's activities. Here we go....

Ok actually this was taken yesterday. It is of me
and Willy's brother, Elvis. I love this kid to pieces.

He has the sweetest heart and you can see it in his

eyes. Just like Willy. Man I miss that kid....

Buenos dias! (From left to right) Carlos David,

Reina and Pavlo. I am sneaking him home in my bag!

Nacho and Neri.

Little Miss Reina.

Catherine

Feeding one of the new babies. I forget

his name..but he is a doll! Juana and I played on the swings for about

an hour! She is still the boss around here!

After swing time I went in to make spaghetti. I left the door open and all the little boys would stop in and say hello or just stand and watch me cook. I love having these babies around me all the time...they bring me such an over flowing feeling of joy that i can't describe.

GREAT news! The adoptions from Guatemala are currently closed to everyone BUT Guatemala is opening adoption again to 4 countries. America applied to be one of those 4 allowed to adopt. The decision is being made now, but if it does open back up to us the adoption process will be reduced to about a year long wait and the total bill, since it will now be run solely by the government, will be about $600-$800. I am praying for this to happen because I know it could be a blessing to some sweet friends of mine :)

Rain Rain Go Away!

Today was very cold and very rainy! Not the spring-like weather I am used to here! I spent the morning playing cards with the older boys and just sitting around talking. Chus made me some guacamole which made my day and I had just that for lunch and dinner. They are spoiling me here, that's for sure. The afternoon was spent in the baby dorm, Los Angelitos, hanging out with the little babies. I have found the child I want to sneak home in my bag. His name is Pablo and he is the most loving and precious thing I've ever laid eyes on. It doesn't help that he follows me around and calls me "mami". He caught my heart today.

Tonight I went over to Mami and Papi's house and watched "Up" with some of the other kids. It turned out to be more of a question and answer session about America which was pretty fun. There is a boy in the hospital who is from Casa named Antoni. He is very sick and needs a kidney but is too little to receive one. He is on dialysis 2-3 times a day and receiving blood transfusions. Papi asked the kids that wanted to to donate blood for him today. I was shocked at the number of kids that signed up. These children genuinely care for each other and take care of one another. It's a very cool thing to watch.

I've gotten to spend a lot of time with Willy's brother Elvis. It's been very comforting getting to see him and talk about Willy. I miss my boy so much but being able to spend time with Elvis is almost as great :) They look just alike too. I just will continue to pray that Willy is safe and out of harm's way.

I Made It!

I am here! The action packers arrived in one piece and I made it through customs without much problem. Of course they asked a million questions about what was in the boxes and then wanted to take everything out and search it anyways. The poor girl picking me up was so worried about me because it took me so long to make it outside to find her. I am staying in an apartment with 2 other girls that live here at Casa. Celia is 25 and Joselin is 17. They have been the absolute BEST hostesses ever! They cleaned out a cabinet for my to put my things and put away all my groceries. So so so sweet.

I am staying in Estrellitas (little stars). The house is divided in half, with little boys on one side and little girls on the other with out apartment in the middle. If I was anywhere else, the sound of little boys screaming, running up and down stairs, singing and throwing things at 5 am would not help me start my day off in a good mood. But as they say, "It's Guatemala!" so I don't mind it. It actually makes me happy to hear their sweet spanish speaking voices before the sun is up :)

So funny story #1....I went with Patty to the grocery store since I will be cooking for myself for the next 2 weeks. Everything is pretty self explanatory-fruit, bread, lunchmeat, and pasta all the look the same no matter where you are. I got the the Dairy section and was trying to pick out which milk I wanted. I grabbed what I thought was 2%. When we got back I poured a glass and quickly realized this was not milk! What I bought was buttermilk! That should be good for the waistline.

Speaking of weight, the boys took it upon themselves to tell me that this summer when I was here I was "fat" but now I am not. I just laughed and told them "I am going to ignore the fact you thought I was fat this summer and just take it as a compliment." God bless them for their honesty!

My room for 2 weeks

Guatemala City

Mountains

I'm Leavin'...On A Jet Plane...

Greetings from 22,724 feet! I made it in the air-wahoo! Now just attempting to get used to the feel of the keyboard on my new Acer computer (thank you Santa!) Waking up at 4:30 am isn't exactly the definition of fun but it's not as difficult when I know in a few short hours I will be in the best place on Earth. I managed, by the grace of God, to get 2 weeks worth of clothing and toiletries in a book bag and a small carry-on bag. My two checked bags are full of Christmas gifts, mail, towels, and school uniforms that have been piling up around the Phillips' home for weeks now. I am sure Mom is glad to see it make its way home to the children!

One of my action packers was 4 pounds over weight. Dad and I got to stand at the counter and shuffle items around and take some out (my Bible of all things) to adjust the weight while several happy and cheerful day-after-Christmas travelers waited so kindly behind us (ok-maybe not quite so kindly-I did catch a few glares and "let me look at you, then my watch, then you again all while taking a big deep breath" stares.)

When we put the lid back on the box and were trying to close it, the latch broke. Thank goodness for heavy duty tape. Let's just pray it holds until I arrive in Guatemala. Standing at baggage claim waiting on a soccer ball here and a Dora book there wouldn't exactly be enjoyable. I'm just going to pray that unlike last time, my bags make it there with me. Given satan's (not capitalized on purpose) lately, however, I don't think anything would come as a surprise at this point. I know something great is going to come out of this trip because there has been some serious battling going on to keep me from it! (You will be happy to hear my Bible did make it with me).

I can't wait to get to Casa Aleluya. This trip seemed like it would never get here and I can't believe I am finally on my way! I am praying that on this trip the Lord will break my heart for what breaks His, teach me to love in a deeper and more compassionate way, and that I will show a genuine love to these children that they will be able to feel. I want to make a impact on their lives, not just be another face that comes through the gates. I pray for opportunities to share the love of Christ and that I will continue to grow and mature as a Christian while I am here.

I miss all of yall and am so blessed for the amazing support group the Lord has placed around me. Every one of you has impacted my life in ways you may never know. Thank you for pouring into me and show Christ's love. Continue to live boldly and loudly for Him.

Gobble Gobble!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I ran in my very first 5k this year! I thought I was going to die, and it was really hard to keep going, but it was so great when I finally crossed that finish line. I won't lie-I am pretty proud of myself. My final time was 45:12, which isn't terrible for a first timer who doesn't run that often. My next race will be in December. It's actually on the same course so I know what to expect. If anyone has trained for these races before and have some advice, I would LOVE to hear it! I can tell you this though-it's addicting already!



The rest of the day was pretty low key. Had some great food and hung out with the family. My sweet little 4 year old cousin was here whom I adore. She told me that I am one of her "best friends" which really made my day! Never knew being the best friend of a 4 year old would be so fulfilling, but it is. We took a lot of pictures, and as soon as I figure out how to get them off my new camera and onto the computer I will post them. Have a wonderful weekend!

JEANIE!

I am REALLY late in announcing this, a month late to the exact date actually, but Jeanie has arrived! Eleanor Jean Jarosz was born on October 23 at 8:43 pm. She was 2 weeks early and weighed 5lbs 15 oz and was 20 inches long. It was a long labor process but Jess did awesome and has recovered wonderfully. Here are just a few pics from those first few moments and days:


Momma J getting ready for the C-Section

Meeting Jeanie for the 1st time

Love at first sight!


1st day home (and wearing an outfit Tutu got her :)

Tutu~Jeanie~Mommy



I just talked to the proud momma today after Jeanie's 1 month check-up and she is now 8 1/2 pounds and 21 inches. She's growing up so fast already!

Unfortunate Happenings....

I previously posted an entry titled "When You Lay It All Down". I must update that unfortunately that relationship did not work out. Maybe the timing isn't right, maybe it isn't God's will....the list of "maybe this or maybe that...." could go on and on. I am thankful that I was blessed with a friend out of the situation and I was taught some valuable lessons through the experience. And as the saying goes, "When God closes a door, He opens a window" and the Bible says that His blessings will overflow through the windows of Heaven. Let the patient waiting begin!

Slacker!

That's what I am! I always vow to update more regularly and then I don't. Life is busy!

The last few days have been spent cleaning and cleaning and....cleaning! Kaylen, my best friend from Lees-McRae will be here with her sweet boyfriend, Bo, tomorrow. They are just stopping by for the night on their way to D.C. but it will be so nice to see her. I am cooking dinner, which will be some sort of Mexican dish. Whenever Kay and I get together, we always have Mexican-it's a tradition :) Jess is coming over with baby Jeanie and Kaylen will finally get to meet her! Grace and Emma Lou are coming as well. I am so excited to have all my best friends here in one place. It doesn't happen often so I really cherish the times that it does. (Poor Bo-he is in for it! At least he is always a great sport).

Thursday is Thanksgiving. I am starting off the day with the Turkey Trot, a 5k race in South Park. The grandparents and family will all be here for the day and after our dinner I will head on over to my second family's for more Thanksgiving fun. The Jarosz's have been the most amazing 2nd family to me that I could have ever asked for. I am SO blessed to have them in my life. I love them all like my own and am lucky to have 2 sisters, 2 brothers, and a godaugther who I know are always there for me.

With Thanksgiving quickly approaching, I have to ask the question....What are you thankful for this year? What are the little things you are thankful for?

The "S" Word

I am loving me some Jesus today! It is really gloomy out today and the sun can't make up it's mind if it wants to come out or not, but I have the SON to brighten my day :) Ok, maybe that's cheesy but it's so true. It's so easy to get in a rut or complain about not-so-beautiful days like today but I think it's God's way of gently nudging us to look to Him for our sunshine that day. I am feeling His presence and joy today! So as you know, I am SINGLE. Yes, the dreaded "S" word. I used to hate saying that word. It would totally effect me if I didn't have a date for Friday night. I would be down and out when all my friends had boyfriends and I didn't. Well, all my friends still have boyfriends, but it's ok! I have the one TRUE love of my life pursuing my heart. I know He values me and loves me more than anyone else ever could. (That's not to say I won't rejoice when He does send me that special someone though!) I have learned to allow God to be the one to fill that void in my heart and how sweet that is!

The rest of my day will consist of studying, taking an online test, gym, practice (last one before our 1st game Saturday!) and meeting the ladies for a little girl time. Have a beautiful day! Adios!

Letter!!

Today was the best day I have had in a while! I got a letter from Willy today! For those of you who may not know, Willy is a boy I sponsor in Guatemala. He is 13 (14 next month!). When grew really close when I was there and when I was about to leave, he grabbed my hand and began to cry and begged me to stay. I believe the exact words were, "Please....2 more days. It's the weekend!" I told him he will always be my little Guatemalan brother and promised to be back to see him. As soon as I got home I asked to sponsor him. Willy is a sweet young man with an enormous heart. I absolutely ADORE that boy. I won't always share our letters but I wanted to share today's since I am still SO excited about it.

"Megan-

Hello. How are you? I hope all is well. I love you and miss you a lot. Thanks for the bracelet and the belt. I am praying a lot for you and I hope to see you again soon. And I can't wait for God to take care of you and your family. I'll be waiting. I miss you and I love you so muchhhh. Thanks for being my beautiful sister and I hope that you remain close to God. Thanks for all the gifts you sent me. I love you and say hello to your family on my behalf. I'll be waiting for you."

Is that not the sweetest thing ever? What a sweet young man of God. I am SO proud of him!

Faith Confessions

At Elevation, we are still discussing faith. We were given a list of Faith Confessions. We are to say these out loud every day to remind us of how strong we are when the Lord is on our side. I think I will be hanging mine in the bathroom. I don't think anyone will hear me saying these and assume I am talking to myself if it's done in the confines of my room! Here is the list:

I am fully forgiven and free from all shame and condemnation.

I act in audacious faith to change the world in my generation.

I have no fear or anxiety. I trust in the Lord with all my heart.

I am able to fulfill the calling God has placed on my life.

I am fully funded to do everything God has called me to do.

I have no insecurity because I see myself the way God sees me.

I am a faithful spouse and Godly parent; our family is blessed.

I am completely whole physically, mentally and emotionally.

I am increasing in influence and favor for the kingdom of God.

I am enabled to walk in the sacrificial love of Christ.

I have the wisdom of the Lord concerning every decision I make.

I am protected from all harm and evil in Jesus' name.

No!

At Elevation this week, we continued the Give.Me.Faith. series. The focus of the sermon was "When God Says "No."' The sermon was by a guest speaker from a church in the Atlanta area, Andy Stanley. Here are some of the points made during his sermon....

* The story begins in 2 Corinthians 12. Paul was sent by the Lord to tell people about Jesus. God knew however, that Paul was going to become very popular and many people would admire him. God did not want Paul to become arrogant and so he gave him a physical condition in order to keep him humble. It was such a severe condition that it would always keep him from becoming proud or arrogant. Some scholars think it was epilepsy or a visibly unappealing eye affliction. Paul asks the Lord 3 times to take this illness away. For a period of time God was silent and did not answer Paul's prayers.

* God finally did respond, and when He did, He said, "My grace is sufficient for you". In other words, "NO." God promised to give Paul the grace to endure, but would not take away the illness. God will not always choose to change our circumstances, but He will give us the endurance to lean on Him and make it through. We are to accept "No", and then accept His grace and endure.

* "For my power is made perfect in your weakness (verse 9)God is going to show off our weakness so that others will look at us and wonder what makes us be able to accomplish the tasks we do despite our weakness. It is then that others will be able to see God and His power in us. We need to have an extraordinary dependence on God. When God doesn't allow us to fill in the gap with our own strength but will fill it with His. Wow. I would MUCH rather have God's strength than my own!

* Your greatest weakness is God's greatest opportunity to show Himself strong in you. If you will TRUST Him. If you don't, any you walk away, you are choosing to walk away from His empowering grace.

*The only thing worse than disappointment with God is disappointment without God.

* When God says "No" it is not a reflection of your faith. It is an opportunity to become a reflection of His greatness!

Wow this was a message I needed to hear! I continue to pray for the Lord to send me someone to love. My heart is so full of love to share with someone but God keeps telling me "No." I know I am being prepared for someone awesome, and the Lord is preparing them for me as well. It is difficult to sit back as my friends move on and are getting engaged and married and having children. There are days I feel like life is passing me by because I am more and more on my own. This sermon really reminded me that I need to lean into God, to press in, and He will receive the glory. And isn't that what we are here for? Our lives are to glorify Him! My prayer this year has been to grow stronger in my faith, and man, the Lord answers prayers!

2 Corinthians 12:9-10- "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, than I am strong."

Buffalo Chicken Dip!

I just returned home last night from a weekend in Atlanta. I went down to see Kaylen, my good friend I met up at Lees-McRae College. Spent the day Saturday watching football and making a few new friends. Everyone was asked to bring something to eat to the tailgating party. I am not sure who made it, but someone brought the best dip I have ever had in my life! No exaggeration. It was delicious. After some asking around, I got the recipe. You HAVE to try it!

2 (10 ounce) cans of chunk chicken, drained
2 (8 ounce) packages of cream cheese, softened (You can use the fat free type if you want)
1 cup Ranch
3/4 cup hot sauce (or more, depending on how hot you like it!)
1 1/2 cup shredded Cheddar

1 bunch celery
chips or crackers

Heat chicken and hot sauce over medium heat. Stir in cream cheese and Ranch. Cook until warm. Mix in half of the shredded Cheddar, transfer to slow cooker or 9x12 pan. (If you are in a pinch for time, use the pan. Otherwise, the slow cooker is a better option). Sprinkle remaining cheese, cover, cook until hot and bubbly (if using over, cook on 350 for 20 minutes). Serve with celery and chips.


Enjoy!!

The ABC's of the Bible

I went to a Beth Moore conference this weekend. Let me start by saying that the Spirit has truly descended upon that woman. She is so full of Christ and you can just feel it when she speaks. I highly admire her! If you haven't ever been to one of her events, you owe it to yourself to go. You can also read her blog here.

So anyways, she spent some time speaking on the importance of Scripture memorization. I won't lie-trying to memorize Bible verses is not at the top of priority list. I feel that the Lord has been speaking to me about that lately. In Oasis we talked about the Bible being your sword. You wouldn't go to battle without your sword, and you shouldn't face this world without your sword always with you. Obviously you aren't going to carry around your Bible 24/7, so this is why Scripture memorization is so important. Then Beth reinforced this concept this weekend, so I need to be obedient. But where do you start? There are so many verses to learn!

Beth gave the idea of going through the ABC's and picking a verse for each letter. Now obviously, some letters, such a X,Y,Z are going to be difficult, which is where you come in! Any ideas?

Here is this week's verse.

A-"As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him." ~ Psalm 18:30.

Stoop!

I was reading one of the Elevation blogs and came across this idea-

2 Samuel 22:36 says, "You give me your shield of victory; you stoop down to make me great."

One of the definitions of "stoop" is: to descend from one's level of dignity. How humbling is it to know that God Almighty, creator and ruler of EVERYTHING will descend down upon me to make me great? Wow!

Other translations use the words help, mercy, and gentleness for the word "stoop." His mercy certainly has made put me where I am and made me into the woman I am now. I am, thankfully, not finished growing and I yearn for more of Him every single day. I praise Him for His mercy and gentleness with me! There have definitely been times when I have not deserved one bit of it. Oh how sweet it is to have such a faithful and loving God who is holding my life in His hands.

Awesome New Praise Song

I went to Elevation last weekend for the Saturday night service. They are doing a series right now called Give.Me.Faith. They wrote this song and sang it at the service to go along with the series.

Here are the lyrics:

Verse 1:
I need you to soften my heart
To break me apart
I need you to open my eyes
To see that You’re shaping my life

Pre-Chorus:
All I am, I surrender

Chorus:
Give me faith to trust what you say
That you’re good and your love is great
I’m broken inside, I give you my life

Verse 2:
I need you to soften my heart
To break me apart
I need you pierce through the dark
And cleanse every part of me

Bridge:
I may be weak
But your Spirit’s strong in me
My flesh may fail
My God you never will

Hospital Visit

Sunday, I went with Jess to the hospital for a tour of the maternity ward. I don't know what the birthing process used to be like, but this place looked like a five star hotel! I am definitely having my children at Presbyterian. We start by walking into the lobby where we are surrounded by protruding bellies and anxious husbands. Do I feel a bit out of place? Yes.

We, as in all 16 of us, cram into an elevator. Talk about claustrophobia. We get to see the desk she will check in at, the hallway leading to the Cesarean room (which was acknowledged with a "I am NOT having that" by Jess) and the birthing "suite". Yes, it is called a suite, and rightly so. This room has wifi (so expect blog entries and Facebook updates..yay), surround sound, cd player, mp3 hookup, a flat screen TV with a DVD player, personal thermostat, and a whirlpool bathtub with jets. This baby is coming out into some high quality accommodations! Oh, and just after she arrives, her presence will be announced with the first stanza of a lullaby played throughout the hospital. Oh, I forgot to mention the light dimmer in the room as well. I think I covered it all :)

Strangely the entire time we were there, I felt as though people were looking at us like we were a couple. It didn't help that the tour guide refered to all the non-pregnant people there as "husbands or birthing support team". "Support partner" was used a few times too, making it equally awkward. Clearly people, we aren't together. For one, we would kill each other. Two, I don't that the capability to knock someone up. Sorry. We got a good laugh from it though.

After the tour we went to Target for our baby shoopping/Starbucks fix. I wound up buying a Fetal Heart Monitoring System. I bought it saying "This is mine, you have to give it back when I have kids one day" but really I just wanted to be able to use it with Jess. At the rate I am going, I won't have kids til I am 50. But that's a whole other blog entry in itself.

We got the little monitor all hooked up and we could hear little Jeanie's heart beating! I've heard it before at Jess's doctor appointments, but it was different to lay there and listen for a long period of time. Everytime she moved or kicked we could hear that too. It was amazing. As I sat there I began to think how it seemed like just yesterday this baby was the size of a piece of rice. Now she kicks and hiccups and has eyelashes and fingernails! God is so amazing. I just am in constant awe of Him and His creations.

11 weeks to go and then I will finally get to meet this little bundle of joy! Oh how I am anxiously awaiting that day! It's going to be the most emotional day of my life thus far, I am quite sure of that!

Too Glad To Be Sad!

I stole this idea from Tori..who stole it from Holly. Here are 10 things I am grateful for today:

1~The fact that each passing day is one day closer to my trip to Guatemala. I bought Willy a new book bag today and it was on sale!

2~New Christian friendships. God is opening new doors, and reopening old doors to some new friends. It's awesome to see prayers being answered before my very eyes. God works in the MOST mysterious ways.

3~The ability every day to walk, talk, see, and hear. How very blessed I am.

4~God's grace. I certainly do not deserve it! I lose my temper, get anxious, and snap pretty often. I am working on it, and it's only through God's strength that it will be accomplished. But I am so thankful for His never ending patience with me.

5~ $2 Starbucks brews. There are some days (like today) that I would not get through without it.

6~My new passion for life. The Lord truly did a work on my heart while in Guatemala. I came back refreshed and renewed. I was in a rut before I left, and now I have a new direction and it's such an amazing feeling!

7~I have lost 6 pounds! Yay! Running and my new diet are paying off and it feels wonderful.

8~My goddaughter that is on her way. Man is she going to be spoiled rotten!

9~Mom's good report from the doctor. Just a few more tests in a few weeks, but things are looking up!

10~Pool/movie day tomorrow with the kids. Awesome.

WAHOOOO!!!!

Last night I got the official "OK" email approving my trip to Guatemala. I have been waiting to hear back for approval before I book my flight. I was literally dancing in my room when I got the email.

Now it's time to get busy. I have got a lot of money to raise! Unlike last time though, I have quite some time to get it all together. I hope these next few months fly by, because I am already shaking with excitement if I think about it for longer than 2 minutes. I found myself wanting to go to Target and the Dollar Store today to start stocking up on toys and gifts for my babies there. (Don't worry, I told myself that there will be plenty of opportunities in the next 4 months....no need to start quite yet).

I am praising God for opening this door, yet again, and will begin praying for the support to be provided. I know when it's God's will, He will provide. If you have any good ideas for fund raising or are interested in supporting me, please let me know. I will be forever thankful! This is truly my passion for life and I could not be any more excited than I am now! I will keep you updated over the next few months leading up to the trip!

Trying to beat the heat!!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Nope....mom decided on Megan at the last minute. My middle name, Fairchild, is after my grandma.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Sunday when the youth led church. I am so proud of them and their desire to live a life pleasing to the Lord at such a young age!
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Most days.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Um....Honey Turkey. Hate ham, bologna, roast beef, etc.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Yes, 3 that I watch every day. And then I get to go home to peace and quiet!!
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Sure
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Not at all ;)
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Nope.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Um....I would get up there and get all strapped in. Would I jump? Not so sure.
10. NAKED? You don't want to see that!
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Not a cereal person at all but Fruit Loops and Reese Cups cereals are good.
12. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Nope...too lazy for that!
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Pralines and cream
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Smile and hands.
15. RED OR PINK? PINK!
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I tend to be pretty paranoid about if people like me or not. I wish I could be one of those people that just doesn't care but I do!
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Shelley. Thank goodness I will be seeing her again.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? Sure.
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Black workout capris, no shoes
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Silence...it's so nice.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Well of course a shade of pink. Or maybe Sunshine Yellow.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Right before it rains, cookies baking, roses (even though I don't like the flower).
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Sherri
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Stole it from Tori and she's pretty cool :)
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? FOOTBALLLLLLLLLLLL
27. HAIR COLOR? @ the moment it is light brown. Been thinking about a switch though. I've had this color for about 2 months now...I'm getting restless.
28. EYE COLOR? Blue/Green
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope
30. FAVORITE FOOD? Mex
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy ending annoy me. Ask me again when I have a bf though.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? The Proposal. Hilarious.
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Blue.
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer except these last few weeks have been miserable!
35. HUGS OR KISSES? Depends who it's from...
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Don't care.
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Don't care.
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Currently reading Lady in Waiting, Mommywood, and What Happens When Women Say Yes To God.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Don't have one.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Army Wives
42. FAVORITE SOUND(S)? Waves. Rain. (weird Tori!) S's voice.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? UGHHHH I do NOT like the Beatles.
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Guatemala.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I don't think so...
46 WHERE WERE U BORN? VA
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Everyone!
48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? HA! Still working on that one...
49. WHAT DO YOU DRIVE? Mazda 6
50. WHAT IS YOUR PSYCHIC TALENT? Psychic talent? What's that?

NeedToBreathe

Have you heard of them? This is my new favorite band. I heard them on the christian radio station and they are awesome! I am going to see them in concert next Friday...YAY!!! I am taking some of the girls from my Bible study to a baseball game and the band is playing after.

I have been pretty down lately about friendships. I have felt very strongly lately that I need to walk away from a few friendships that are not helping me grow in my Christian walk. This of course is very difficult because it has left me with very few friends. I have been very lonely lately and desperately wanting some friendships. It seems as though a lot of people are getting engaged, married, or are in serious relationships. That leaves little time to make new friends and work on friendships. I have been praying for God to send me some girlfriends. I have 2 very good friends from college but they live in other states. And I feel like the one good friend that does live here sees a little too much of me!

I've had a hard time with girlfriends in the past. In middle and high school I had a few friends that I really trusted that turned on me. I was burnt by a few "good friends." In college, my best friend, my "soul mate" best friend, passed away. You know, that one girlfriend that you are closer to than anyone else? The one you could trust with your deepest secret and know she not only won't tell anyone but wouldn't even think of judging you either? That was her. Not a day went by in 3 years that we didn't talk. After she passed I began to think that I couldn't have a close friend because they either would stab me in the back or I would lose them. That was totally the Devil giving me those thoughts and I was buying into it.

Sunday I was telling all of this to a lady at home fellowship. She told me, "Maybe God is going to send you a new friend who isn't necessarily your age. Maybe older, maybe younger. We always think friends are going to be someone just like us but that isn't always the case."

The same night I was having this same conversation with another woman in the group. She told me, "God is going to send you a friend." Since that day I have been told this again. When the Lord says something 3 times, He means it! I will continue to pray for strong, consistent, female friendships in my life. This really is my hearts desire.


*Disclaimer* This is not to say that the few female friends I have are not anything short of amazing. I love you 3, KK, JJ, and SW, to death. Even though the miles separate us, I could not ask for better friends.

Get to know me

So today I thought I would do a little questionnaire. Maybe you will learn a new thing or two about me!

1. What time did you get up this morning?
8:30-and had to leave for work at 8:45!

2. How do you like your steak?
Medium rare

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
The Ugly Truth

4. What is your favorite TV show?
Grey's Anatomy and most of the reality shows on Bravo

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Guatemala

6. What did you have for breakfast?
A protein shake with strawberries

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Mexican

8. What foods do you dislike?
black olives

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
On the Border, Cantina 1511

10. Favorite dressing?
Honey mustard

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
Mazda 6

12. What are your favorite clothes?
Sundress and flip-flops

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
Greece

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
1/2 full

15. Where would you want to retire?
somewhere with a beach

16. Favorite time of day?
dusk

17. Where were you born?
Newport News, VA

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
College football

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
???? don't care

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?
???? don't care

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
I'd love to see what everyone has to say

22. Bird watcher?
Not really...more of a people watcher

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
If I am in the habit of getting up early, I like it. But for the most part, I am a night owl.

24. Do you have any pets?
3 dogs-Doodle, Freddie, Cleo, and a cat-Sassy

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
Um....God is good!!

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
Teacher

27. What is your best childhood memory?
Family vacations or playing with Brandon all the time who is still my friend :)

28. Are you a cat or dog person?
Dog

29. Are you married?
Nope...still praying about that one

30. Always wear your seat belt?
Yes. That's one of the dumbest things you can get a ticket for. It's so easy to follow that rule!

31. Been in a car accident?
Well if rolling into the back of someone counts as an accident, yes.

32. Any pet peeves?
Kids who ask "Why?" after being told "No" or kids that argue with adults. Whiny kids. Spoiled kids. Parents who let their kids get away with all of the above.

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
Pineapple

34. Favorite Flower?
Daisy

35. Favorite ice cream?
Pralines

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
Bojangles

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
None

38. From whom did you get your last email?
Bailey

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
J. Crew or Banana Republic

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
Ran through a sprinkler

41. Like your job?
It's pretty great on the days when the kids get enough sleep

42. Broccoli?
Anyway you fix it

43. What was your favorite vacation?
This summer's trip to Sanibel Island was pretty great

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
Mom and I went out to dinner last night.

45. What are you listening to right now?
Nothing

46. What is your favorite color?
Pink

47. How many tattoos do you have?
None-I would rather get engraved jewelry instead

48. Coffee Drinker?
Everyday

Mile 2

Mike Clark, the founder of Casa Aleluya, has a blog. He writes some of the most encouraging and profound things I have read. He is truly filled with God's wisdom. He recently wrote about "Going the extra mile". PLEASE go read this...I think all Christians need this reminder to blow people away with God's love :)

Mile # 2!

Being Thoughtful

Today started off as any other. Making breakfast for the kids I nanny, getting teeth brushed, outfits laid out, finding shoes and out the door by 9:30 is quite the task. Maybe it's because I am not their mom? Anyways, we headed downtown to the hospital to meet Jess for her 7 month ultrasound. I was SO proud of the girls for waiting so patiently in the waiting room. I was going to let them come back to see the ultrasound but unfortunately the doctor decided to wait a few more weeks. Please pray for little baby Jeanie. At the last ultrasound, some cysts were visible on her spine. Jess was assured today that this is not the result of a genetic disorder which is an answered prayer. Hopefully the next pictures will show that they are totally gone. I will keep you updated.

The best part of the visit? I got to feel Jeanie kick! Finally! She has been acting a little stubborn with me lately. Every time Jess feels her kick and quickly puts my hand on her belly to feel it, Jeanie stops moving. I'm so glad she decided to cooperate with Tutu today. (My soon to be name! Aunt Meg just wasn't fun).

After the appointment we went to lunch and got ice cream. I got in a little trouble with my boss for spoiling the girls the way I do. I can't help it....they are so precious! We then went to ImaginOn. If you have kids and have not been here yet, you need to go! It's so much fun! And provides hours of entertainment.

The DJ on 91.9 was talking on the radio today about her upcoming trip to Africa. She was saying how she could not fit all her things in her bag that she wanted to take and could only check one bag. I called the station to share with her that on international flights you may check as many bags as you would like. We got to talking and I shared with her about my trip to Guatemala and how I feel called now to be a full time missionary. Later tonight Jill and Cindy called saying they heard me on the radio! How fun! I didn't get to hear it but I was pretty excited about it!

God laid it on my heart several times today that when He puts an encouraging thought or idea into my mind, I need to act on it. There are many times that an encouraging word will come to my mind, but the thought of approaching a stranger to share that thought is scary! That is walking in faith though, isn't it? As a society, we are not as thoughtful as we should be. When a person acts thoughtfully, it catches people off guard. That's when our Christian light will shine through. When you are prompted to say or do something encouraging.... do it. You are being used!

If you see a need, meet it.
If you think an encouraging word, say it.
If you think a kind thought, put it into action.

Trust

Ok. I just got done checking out the blogs of all the women in my Home Fellowship group. I am embarrassed now! Theirs have pictures, pretty backgrounds, and are really done up nicely. I'm sorry to disappoint with mine. I have no idea how to make it look cool like theirs! I am not tech-savvy at all. I am lucky to turn on the TV and get the digital cable to work.

As I was reading their blogs, God spoke to me. Let me back up by saying that last week I was reading Papi's blog. Papi is the man who started Casa Aleluya. He is an incredible man full of God's wisdom and spirit. I admire him so much. One of his entries was telling the story of a two year old boy who is in need of a kidney transplant. His mom left him at the hospital because she did not want him. The hospital asked Papi to come get the boy and care for him until he is old enough for a transplant. He will be on dialysis a few times a week. Papi would like someone to come and care for this boy full time. Maybe this is the door opening for me. I have been praying since I read that blog. Sunday at home group I shared the story with a friend. With chills on her arms she told me I had to email Papi about my desires to live in Guatemala as one of his workers. So tonight, with knots in my stomach and a nauseous feeling quickly taking over, I sent the email. Oh how scary it can sometimes be to walk in faith!

I spent the next 20 minutes worrying and crying. (If you don't know me, I am a crier. If I am happy, I cry. Sad, I cry. Mad, I cry. Moved by the Spirit, I cry. If you cry, I cry. And so it goes...) I came across one of those awesome blogs I was telling you about around this time or worrying and crying. She quoted from a book called CrazyLove. If you have not read this book, go right now and get it. It's amazing.

This is stolen from her post:

Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.

Doesn't God speak to us in the most unexpected ways sometimes? Yes, sending that email tonight was big. It was a leap of faith. It was what God told me to do. Who am I to worry? I am committing to let go and know that I am in the best hands anyone could ask to be in.

What is making you happy?

Everyone has that one small thing that makes them happy. That one little thing can bring sunlight to any cloudy day. What is making you happy today? Here are some of the small things in life that make me happy...

~Mango Sorbet. I don't like eating real mangos (or it is mangoes?) that much but YUM, the sorbet is amazing. And it's fat free.

~Seeing a rainbow.

~Spotting a small flower growing somewhere it shouldn't be. I know when I see that, God is giving me that flower and THAT makes me feel special.

~Thunderstorms with extra thunder.

~Runner's high. This one doesn't happen much because I have been lazy this summer. Once it cools off I will be back on it. Promise.

~Kisses on the forehead.

~Butterflies in my stomach before talking or seeing that special someone.

~Thinking about my new goddaughter.

~Asking God to let me know He is near and then hearing my favorite praise song on the radio.

~The smell of something burning outside.

~When the kids I nanny say one of the following: "You are so cool!", "You are so nice!" or "I love you".

~Knowing every day that passes is one day closer to being back in Guatemala.

What little things make your day?

A Radical Experience

My quiet times for the past few weeks have been from a book titled, When Women Say Yes To God. It is teaching me to abandon myself, my desires, and to live a life pleasing to God. When we commit to follow Him, who knows what we can do! God has bigger plans for us than we could ever imagine and we are to be open to being used, in any way necessary, on this great adventure of life. Yes, it's scary to live a life completely trusting in someone you can't even see. But when you do, it is so rewarding.

A just returned from a missions trip to Guatemala 2 weeks ago. Talk about a life changing experience. My heart now has a place in it that I never even knew I had. I have such a deep love and passion for some children now that I didn't expect to return with. It was heartbreaking to leave them. I literally cried the entire way home. I wanted to stay in Guatemala so desperately. Those children were more of a blessing to me than I could ever be to them. They taught me some of the most important life lessons that I could have ever learned. I prayed before I left that God would teach me through the trip to love in a way I never knew how to before. He certainly answers prayers! I am still enamored by the way my outlook on life drastically changed over a week.

I know this is long but pleaseeee hear me out. I think it's an awesome testimony of God's faithfulness!

I felt the calling into missions when I was 20, but I ignored it because I was too busy living my own life. Besides, I always thought "I have never been on a missions trip, so how could I be called into that?" I actually had planned to go to Africa this summer. There was a trip w/Steele Creek but it fell through and I signed up for Guatemala. I was excited, but a little disheartened that Africa didn't work out. When I got there, I was completely overwhelmed. There stood over 500 children wanting and needing love and attention. I had to pray at that moment that God take over and show Himself through me, and help me to abandon my flesh to love these kids the way He knew they needed to be loved.

On Thursday we went to Antigua, the capital of Guatemala. After shopping all day we went to this really nice restaurant with a roof top view. I went up there with one of my team members and was looking at the mountains, the city and the volcanoes that surrounded us. I felt the overwhelming presence of God and His voice speaking to me. I began to get tears in my eyes because I knew once again, He was calling me. My team member looks at me and says. "Maybe you belong here in Guatemala. I have never seen kids interact with someone the way they do w/you" (and he is a teacher!) We went back to our table and the people at the table next to us were full time missionaries. I didn't speak to them, just listened as everyone else did, because I was still trying to swallow back my tears. The lady says "When God calls you, you must go". I went back that night to my dorm praying that God would help me be able to decipher the different between my own will and His own. If it was up to me, I would leave tomorrow to live there!

The next day I was doing my quiet time as I waited on the boys to get out of school. My quiet time was about how to know if what you hear is God's voice. Wow. I read about half of the devotion and then the boys began to get out of school and wanted to play. I closed the book. The next day when we left and got on the plane I decided to finish that devotion. I opened my book, flipping through it to find where I had left off. The VERY FIRST sentence I read was, "God is very clear in Scripture that as Christians we are to take care of widows and orphans." I was already crying bc I didn't want to leave, but this sent me over the edge. I was weeping. I know everyone on the plane thought I was a nut case.

I know I have only been home a few weeks, and many people come home from a mission trip on a "high" but I feel in my heart that I am to move to Guatemala. I am going to continue to pray for the Lord's will to become apparent to me. I am planning another trip for Dec-Jan, this time for 2 weeks. After that they like you to come for a few months to decide if this is truly what you want to do before you commit for 3-5 years. I am switching from Nursing to Education next semester. I hope to become trained to teach ESL classes. Please pray for me as the next few months go by, that I will follow the path that the Lord wants for me! I have been living for myself for so long that I am afraid I am not going to be able to know the difference.

I'm back...and better....

I decided to delete everything I had on here and start all over. My first attempt at blogging turned out to be pretty pathetic! So here we go again.

I need to start off by saying, WOW, what a whirlwind the last year has been. This time last year I was engaged, planning a wedding, looking for town homes in Wilmington, NC, and in a constant state of unrest with my family. And barely entering the doors of any church except the occasional Catholic service. (If you are Catholic, please do not take offense to this. I was raised Southern Baptist so from the moment I step foot in a mass until the time I leave, I am completely confused as to what is going on. And I was attending with someone who, let's just say, was not a regular himself and was not able to shed much light on my countless questions.)

I was making so many mistakes and was too blinded by my own pride to see any of it. I had NO business being engaged. My life was not at a stable point, nor was his, like it should be when preparing for a lifetime together. I did NOT want to move away from Charlotte, yet I was looking for homes in a city 3 hours away. All to please someone else. My happiness was at the bottom of the totem poll. I believe this is where the fighting with my parents came from. Not only was I rebelling, but they were trying to show me the same things that I myself already knew. But remember, my pride was standing in the way? Isn't that a situation we all find ourselves in at some point? We know we are wrong, but admitting our fault is just too painful so we risk completely bombing instead. Needless to say, I bombed.

So here I am, a year later, single, living at home, (in Charlotte I might add) and the happiest I have been in my life. I have a few close friends, most who live in other cities, a fun job, and an amazing group of Godly women that I know I can count on. I am living in God's will, studying His word daily, thanking Him for this life and the opportunities that I have. I am planning to apply to the Master's program for Education at UNCC and hopefully will begin in the Spring of 2010. I finally have found something that I am passionate about and am taking steps to have a lifelong job doing it. I am so thankful for God's grace on me, His patience until I decided to live for Him wholeheartedly and His mercy for forgiving my selfish past. I am so thankful we have such a forgiving and merciful God!