My quiet times for the past few weeks have been from a book titled, When Women Say Yes To God. It is teaching me to abandon myself, my desires, and to live a life pleasing to God. When we commit to follow Him, who knows what we can do! God has bigger plans for us than we could ever imagine and we are to be open to being used, in any way necessary, on this great adventure of life. Yes, it's scary to live a life completely trusting in someone you can't even see. But when you do, it is so rewarding.
A just returned from a missions trip to Guatemala 2 weeks ago. Talk about a life changing experience. My heart now has a place in it that I never even knew I had. I have such a deep love and passion for some children now that I didn't expect to return with. It was heartbreaking to leave them. I literally cried the entire way home. I wanted to stay in Guatemala so desperately. Those children were more of a blessing to me than I could ever be to them. They taught me some of the most important life lessons that I could have ever learned. I prayed before I left that God would teach me through the trip to love in a way I never knew how to before. He certainly answers prayers! I am still enamored by the way my outlook on life drastically changed over a week.
I know this is long but pleaseeee hear me out. I think it's an awesome testimony of God's faithfulness!
I felt the calling into missions when I was 20, but I ignored it because I was too busy living my own life. Besides, I always thought "I have never been on a missions trip, so how could I be called into that?" I actually had planned to go to Africa this summer. There was a trip w/Steele Creek but it fell through and I signed up for Guatemala. I was excited, but a little disheartened that Africa didn't work out. When I got there, I was completely overwhelmed. There stood over 500 children wanting and needing love and attention. I had to pray at that moment that God take over and show Himself through me, and help me to abandon my flesh to love these kids the way He knew they needed to be loved.
On Thursday we went to Antigua, the capital of Guatemala. After shopping all day we went to this really nice restaurant with a roof top view. I went up there with one of my team members and was looking at the mountains, the city and the volcanoes that surrounded us. I felt the overwhelming presence of God and His voice speaking to me. I began to get tears in my eyes because I knew once again, He was calling me. My team member looks at me and says. "Maybe you belong here in Guatemala. I have never seen kids interact with someone the way they do w/you" (and he is a teacher!) We went back to our table and the people at the table next to us were full time missionaries. I didn't speak to them, just listened as everyone else did, because I was still trying to swallow back my tears. The lady says "When God calls you, you must go". I went back that night to my dorm praying that God would help me be able to decipher the different between my own will and His own. If it was up to me, I would leave tomorrow to live there!
The next day I was doing my quiet time as I waited on the boys to get out of school. My quiet time was about how to know if what you hear is God's voice. Wow. I read about half of the devotion and then the boys began to get out of school and wanted to play. I closed the book. The next day when we left and got on the plane I decided to finish that devotion. I opened my book, flipping through it to find where I had left off. The VERY FIRST sentence I read was, "God is very clear in Scripture that as Christians we are to take care of widows and orphans." I was already crying bc I didn't want to leave, but this sent me over the edge. I was weeping. I know everyone on the plane thought I was a nut case.
I know I have only been home a few weeks, and many people come home from a mission trip on a "high" but I feel in my heart that I am to move to Guatemala. I am going to continue to pray for the Lord's will to become apparent to me. I am planning another trip for Dec-Jan, this time for 2 weeks. After that they like you to come for a few months to decide if this is truly what you want to do before you commit for 3-5 years. I am switching from Nursing to Education next semester. I hope to become trained to teach ESL classes. Please pray for me as the next few months go by, that I will follow the path that the Lord wants for me! I have been living for myself for so long that I am afraid I am not going to be able to know the difference.
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